You know there has to be a change. Or at the very least, a modest shift. You are wasting your days away working your ass off, whether for yourself or for a slave-driver (sorry- “boss”), trying to get rich or move ahead in your career yet it seems like you're just running in place.

You use that excuse- “I'm trying to make a better life for my kids”, as time is ticking away, but your life is better with your kids now and their lives are better with you being the main glue holding the family together, right now.

Because mothers have such a high unattainable success level in mind, by the time you get to that level, your children are grown and now there’s no point. You’ve missed their entire childhood.

Still you must put them through college, at some point. You must raise them and feed them. But by the time we get to the point where we can afford that because our career has finally come to the place of making enough money to survive, our kids have grown and moved out, with a career of their own!

So, how can we find the common ground? Is there a way we can compromise with the universe? Should we just pray to God every day that we win the lottery? So we don’t have to work?

Quite often after my divorce, I would find myself sulking and angry at my ex-husband for leaving us. Knowing I didn't have a job, knowing I was a stay-at-home mom and gave up my career,( 10 years of it) to raise our kids. But that doesn't matter to a narcissist who's in love with a home wrecker trying to justify their actions with lies.

But none of that mattered. It didn’t help. In fact, it made it worse.

*(This led into a serious rant that could potentially help, if you feel the same way. But it wasn’t appropriate for this article, unfortunately. However if you’re bored and want to read the rant, you can  view or read it by clicking here).*    >0_0<

I waisted so much time and energy on being angry at a man, blaming him for my situation, and the fact that I now have to work, and I can’t be home for my kids, all the time. Especially because we had a toddler. It really sucked when he made his girlfriend the team-mom on my son’s baseball team, kicking me out of that position. His excuse was “You can’t make it to every game and practice because you’re a nurse and work the weekends and 12 hour shifts.” UGGGH!! I could rip my hair out over the frustration of just him.

Still, at some point, I had to suck it up, put on my big girl pants and take responsibility.

I took a big, long look in the mirror and realized, I had some work to do.. on myself.

This is when things started to change. Significantly. Not only did I notice that spending time with my kids, in the middle of my work week, was a choice. And I was choosing to stay in work mode, trying to get my side business off the ground. But I was also ignoring myself. I never took a break.

I began to set strict hours for everything. Job-Business-Home/Kids. When I keep those hours, everything is in great balance and flow.

There’s a great quote that says,

“If you FAIL TO PLAN,

                        you PLAN TO FAIL”

I took responsibility, emotionally, financially, and in my parenting consistency. This allowed me to take back my emotional control and when you have that control, you can deal with negativity way better, and get rid of it easier and faster.

I chose to be happy. If my day was hard, I would purposely put on some good music or a comedy show, and listen to it on the way home, so that I was in a good mood when I got there, for my kids.

I started meditating more and found great peace and patience in it. I learned that “me time” is the most important appointment on my to-do list. If you don’t take care of yourself first, if you don’t love yourself first, you cannot love and care for others as much as they deserve it.

It Causes Burnout

I replaced every single negative phrase or vision or worry in my mind with positive, thankful phrases, affirmations, and thoughts. Because our thoughts really do become our reality.

Example: “I'm so fat and stupid” becomes “I am beautiful, skinny, brilliant, and a talented human being”. Or how about this: Every time my daughter leaves my house in her little car, all I see is the wreck that she never really gets into, but the image and the sinking terrible feeling in my gut is surely there, every single time. As soon as it hits, I replace it with a wonderful image of me as an old woman and all of my grown children and grown grandchildren standing around my bed as I die; because none of them died before I did. Plus, I know God is with her carrying her through every single adventure she embarks on.

Oh and, by the way, may I ask where tha fuck do these thoughts come from?

Anyway, life gets so much easier, and you feel so much weight lifted off your shoulders, the more you practice these simple things.

And stop feeling guilty about taking time for yourself! You don't come to this planet to work a boring ass job, go home drink wine, hate your life, ignore your kids- 'cause you can't handle it anymore, and pout. But this is surely what you will continue to do if you do not heed these words.

Darling,

The Universe is Literally Rigged in Your Favor,

so that you may learn the lessons your Soul needed to learn in your time here on this earth. Each and every terrible or wonderful thing that happens to you is for a reason. It’s a lesson for all involved. When these things do happen, try to look at the situation from the outside. Look at the bigger picture and ask yourself what is the purpose of this event? What lesson in life does this event serve?

You must learn your lessons,

                 or you will repeat them over and over until you do.

I know this is easy to talk about and hard to do. It's hard to change your habits because your brain hates change and loves habits, as that's what it is rigged to do.

That's why I use hypnosis and hypnotherapy to help people interrupt these patterns and negative cycles they get caught in. We upgrade their lives to healthy habits and healthy cycles, that make beautiful, life changing transformations.

Click below if you would like to talk about your life. We can jump on a free call and talk about your strategy for your future. I know you want to capture your future and make sure that your destiny is in your hands, so give me a call. Make an appointment below.